Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I had a Dr. appointment this morning. He asked me how many beers I drink. I held out my hand and said this one is only my 4th, I`ll call you back later with the total.
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
If you sneeze near an atheist, they just say "science appreciates you".
Turns out I`m ambidextrous at yet another sport! And I even scored a bingo twice. Left-handed!
If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time.
Shout out to all the girls who don`t have to dress half naked to get a mans attention. Stay classy! And the rest of you come with me.
No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you. I just want the oil change
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
Itβs not a nap unless your face wakes up in a puddle of your own drool.
Million Dollar Idea: A restaurant that offers Coke and Pepsi....
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(: