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I know I`m in trouble when the voice in my head starts using my middle name
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
Met a girl for a first date and quickly found out that her version of "Do you want to go downtown?" is vastly different than mine.
If you don`t think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you`re probably the boss
Golf would be a lot more fun to watch on TV if the balls were on fire
I`m pretty sure my laundry breeds while I sleep.
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
You call it "Road Rage". I call it "Aggressively maneuvering around a$$holes that don`t know how to f*cking drive."
Sometimes I STOP when it`s not even Hammer time
Guys say that women should come with instructions, but what`s the point. Have you ever seen a man read instructions?
I`m confused by this "It`s 5 o`clock somewhere" statement. Bars open at 11. Idiots.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
If you are not sweating while doing it...then you are doing it wrong.
Okay, enough procrastination. Time for excuses.
I`ve been sober 136 days. Not in a row, but still...