Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Zombies and I have a lot in common; we both walk around aimlessly looking for something to eat.
If you ain`t laughin, you ain`t livin!
Remember the good ole days when we had to get out of bed to use the Internet.
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what I’m talking about.
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days..
I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts “Batman” when he’s drunk. I know I do.
I`m just looking for a reason not to drink
Anyone who knows me obviously knows a shit ton about awesomeness.
When I die, before my will is read, I want my entire Google search history revealed and whoever is left in the room gets it all.
I hear you`ve been very naughty ... Go to my room!
I’m amazed by how quickly I forget what I’m doing.
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
Single, means never having to say you`re sorry.
Women with big breasts... ...can get a taxi on the worst days ...have a neat place to carry spare change ...have always been the center of the arts (art) ...make jogging a spectator sport ...can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub ...have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them) ...usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie ...can always carry a little extra ...always float better ...know where to look first for lost earrings ...rarely lack for a slow dance partner ...hav
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!