Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
This cat poop tastes like I`m about to get yelled at -Dogs
I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution ... 1024×768.
Only 2 phrases can change a woman’s mood: ”I Love You” and ”50% Off”.
My mom wanted to talk to me about my maturity today, but she didn`t know the password to my secret fort.
thinking men should come with a carfax....
"Oh wow, it`s a fruit cake! I`m going to eat some of it right now" ...said no one ever.
Folding laundry with a toddler is like trying to straighten a desk full of papers while a fan blows on it.
If you ever feel sad and blue, just remember that somewhere in the world, there`s a fat kid who just dropped his ice-cream.
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms
How do you expect kids to listen to their parents when Tarzan lives half naked, Cinderella comes home at midnight, Pinocchio lies all the time, Alladin is the king of thieves, Batman drives at 200 mph, Sleeping Beauty is lazy, and Snow White lives with 7 guys. We shouldn’t be surprised when they misbehave, they get it from their storybooks!