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When girls wear yoga pants I feel like a ghost from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.
I let a girl go through my phone recently so a colonoscopy really doesn’t scare me anymore.
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
I imagine a world where whining on Facebook is illegal.
Waldo wears stripes because he doesn`t want to be spotted !
Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!
Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
"Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven`t slept in a week!
The bad news is I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. The good news is I no longer give a crap.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :)
The light does go out in the fridge ... Now I have to wait for someone to let me out.
Who says I can`t relate to today`s youth? I overheard a teenager saying he loved "riding on E" and I was like "I totally get it, gas is so damn expensive".
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying
I want the drugs of the first guy who was like "DUDE, let`s carve a face into a pumpkin."