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Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
I`m getting really tired of being really tired of stuff.
Note to self: don’t set your password reminder as “you should know this”
In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.
Yesterday was international ninja day and I didn`t even know. Well played ninja day, well played.
What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer, & a pregnant girl have in common? In each scenario, there`s a dumb guy who didn`t take it out in time.
You know what the cheapest meat is? Deer balls ... They`re under a buck
Let`s all have a moment of silence for people who can`t have a moment of silence because they have kids.
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket .. I´d miss you alot and think of you often.
I`ve decided to add more positivity in my life. So, now when I say someone`s an a@#hole, I qualify it with......... but he`s really good at it...........and I`m positive about that!
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
Every pair of panties can be a thong if your a$$ is big enough.
To whoever said “fight fire with fire”: do you actually test your own advice before giving it?
United Airlines was just voted number one in Chinese takeout!
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that I’m married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.