Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just got back from a vacation in Nevada...turns out that money can by you love.
I wish "friends with benefits" meant your friends paid all of your bills.
People say "Happy Thanksgiving" which is nice, but then they ruin it by saying "Don`t eat too much". Do they want me to have a Happy Thanksgiving or not?
"It`s cold!", "Happy birthday!", "I`m so blessed", "Political rant!"... There, now you don`t have to go to Facebook today. You`re welcome.
Technology is outpacing my ability to come up with convincing lies that I didn`t get your message.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
We are guaranteed "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". So, why did happiness get a Lamborghini and I got a `74 Pinto?????
Does anyone have a good recipe for homemade gasoline?
If you were born after 1990, you will never know the frustration of having to rewind your parents porn tapes to the exact same spot...
"You`re so cute!" works as a response to anything my girl says 99% of the time when I`m not listening which is 99% of the time.
No officer I wasn’t texting, that’s dangerous. I was checking my email.
Bored? Simply send a text message to a random number saying..."I`m Pregnant!"
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality.
Anyone else pretend to work all day while thinking about big boobs instead?