Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you watch COPS backwards it`s just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs
Sometimes you run into people who change your life forever ... Bartenders, they are called bartenders.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
Halloween always exposes my weakness for Milk Duds, I am powerless. Tomorrow I will attend MDA, Milk Duds Anonymous
Life isn`t a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, chances are you are going to walk home barefoot.
If I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die. I wouldn`t want to be me on that day.
How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 6 Step 7,8,9,11
Ladies, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest, eat a banana.
Diamonds are the hardest substance in the world ... to get back from a woman
If you think your wife has a sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose pedals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes
I was going to do a time travelling joke but you guys didn`t like it.
Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
Traffic would be awesome if we all drove hamster balls.
Actually officer, if you factor in the earth`s rotation, we were all speeding.
Those days where you don`t take anyone`s sh!t ... Yeah, today is one of those days.