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It’s ok if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess
A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
If I live to be 100, I`m gonna make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people. Like, I ate a pine cone, or drank olive oil every single day...
I don`t normally poop with the door open, but I don`t want to miss the in flight movie
The Patriots defensive coverage was almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
Don`t expect me not to hopscotch all over your house if you have fancy tiles.
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
My therapist doesn`t believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
It’s funny how “You’re so funny” turns into “You think everything’s a f*cking joke” in just 3 months…
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
Forecast for tonight: Alcohol, low standards, and poor decisions.
in wine there is wisdom. in beer there is freedom. in water there is... umm bacteria