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Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
All women are bad for me. At least that`s what my wife says.
Snakes are terrifying because they can`t trip and fall over sh!t. No creature should possess such power.
A dog running a hundred miles to retrieve a stick? That`s pretty far-fetched.
Bring me the heads of my enemies!! or some cupcakes ... whichever.
The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight
Anybody know where the cheapest place to buy 12 red roses is?.....just asking for a friend.
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
I like to jump onto people`s backs as an unexpected piggy back. but sometimes I get carried away
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night…he hypnotized 7 guys…then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled F*CK ME ... what happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life
I ordered an Asian hooker last night. She showed up 2 hours late. She loved me wrong time.
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."
My dance moves are somewhere between “dog being shocked by an electric fence” and “squirrel crossing the road.”