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So no pizza place on Ninja Turtles ever questioned the delivery address being “The Sewer”
Better ingredients. Better pizza. Horrible acting. Papa Johns.
If I ran my legs as much as I did my mouth, I`d be in fantastic shape.
Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Home Depot
I used to make fun of my dog for barking at dogs on TV until I caught myself in the car pulling over for a siren on the radio.
Upside to hurricanes... you might get a free boat delivered to your front yard.
I remember 2011 like it was yesterday. ;)
The only thing alcohol can`t cure is alcoholism.
Smile, it´s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
"The secret is that it`s all in the wrist!" -My grandfather talking about golf or handjobs or something
Today is opposite day. Wait...if today is opposite day and I say that it is opposite day that means today isn`t opposite day. If it isn`t opposite day then how cAn I say today is opposite dAy? I`m so confused -.-
Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
A few more months without getting laid and I should be eligible for employment at Gamestop.
It’s not the holiday season unless you push your body to the brink of alcoholism and diabetes.