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Jimmy is short for James? This is where I think English is stupid. They have the same number of letters. Do they even know what short means?
Some girls are so desperate. Who calls 3 times, leaves a voicemail, and sends a text?? Take a hint, mom.
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can`t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
I`m on a pepperoni pizza cleanse.
If I lived in England I would approach my boss on payday and say "pound me."
I hate when I go to pump gas only to find out that the little metal "handle hold up thingy" is broken, so I have actually squeeze and hold the handle. I hate it for two reasons: 1) its gross and i just wanna peel my hand skin off like gloves when im done. 2) it makes me realize how lazy I am.
Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror naked just to remind myself what nobody`s getting.
Look, all I`m saying is if you didnt want me to take my clothes off and do an interpretive dance you should have turned off Michael Jacksons "man in the mirror".
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come into work.
College is the only time in which being poor and drunk is acceptable.
Do you really have to breath that much?
My IQ? ... With google or without?