Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
I was an adult once. Then I opened a Facebook account.
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
Having kids is like being at a press conference: "No, you can`t put the dog in the washer - next question." "No, you can`t really fly -next"
Tip for women; All men really want is to be close to someone who will leave them the hell alone.
I`m glad I`ve got boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me
I’ve realized I get ridiculously nervous driving behind semi’s or trucks carrying sh!t that could fall out and impale me all because of final destination 2.
I haven`t been this disappointed since I first saw a real hedgehog and it wasn`t blue.
The New iPhone 7 is coming out in August. If you want a sneak peek of the new iPhone. Take a look at your current iPhone and pretend it cost 200 dollars more.
Things you need to know about me: 1- I`m lazy 2- hmm, one is enough
I`ll vacuum over something a hundred times before I pick it up and place it back down and try again.
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.