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Definition: Brain - Your body`s hardest working organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, from birth until you...fall in love.
The sun shouldn`t be allowed to come out until after your hangover.
After months of uninterrupted analysis, I am now prepared to conclude that, indeed, my laundry is not going to fold itself.
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
Guacamole is my favorite food that looks like someone already ate it.
Congratulations! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
what is the difference between a Fly and a mosquito? ``A fly can fly, But a Mosquito can`t mosquito``
If I`ve learned anything about picking up woman at the super market it`s to stay away from those in the tampon isle.
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
News flash! someone just found Carmon Sandiego!
DiGiorno should start delivering, just to screw with people.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
To my neighbor using a chainsaw at 7:30 on a Sunday morning: Try holding the other end.
Being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad.