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Men like football because the priorities in football are also the biggest priorities in every man’s life…. Scoring and Ball Security.
I fell asleep on the couch last night & woke up thinking I was married.
I appreciate your help, but no thanks, I can f*ck up my life on my own.
Be friend with stupid people.., feel like genius all the time
Not remembering where I set my drink down must be the same feeling parents have when they lose their four year old at the mall.
I honestly don’t care if you think I’m crazy. You’re just a figment of my imagination anyway.
My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film.
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?
You`re in your 20`s... you don`t have "haters"... you have "adults" that think you are "annoying"
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
I woke up early this morning with the strange desire to get up and exercise. Fortunately I rolled over and closed my eyes really tight and the feeling went away.
Some of you are like family to me. I don’t want you calling me either.
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.