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“Over my dead body” doesn’t mean “no.” It means I get to do what I want and as a bonus I get to kill you.
I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
I`m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
Someday, I hope to be so rich that I`ll never be happy again.
Some people just need sympathetic pat.........on the head........with a hammer
After visiting the gov`t healthcare site, I don`t know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
50% of people believe s@x is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are guys
I should probably be in a relationship just for the supervision.
"Three blind mice" is probably the most popular nursery rhyme about animal cruelty
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
I have an alcohol problem, in that I can`t afford any.
Just bought an exercise bike today because my treadmill works fine for laying my pants on, but it won`t accommodate hanging shirts on hangers.
Who called them expiration dates instead of spoiler alerts
Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Do you wanna drink about it?
Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.