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My relationship with whiskey has been on the rocks lately.
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
Nothing says "high-functioning alcoholic" like being really good at darts.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually dont have one
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself"...and spiders. Oh, and ticks and nuclear war and getting laid off and losing your eye sight and...
Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
Asian gangs, also known as study groups...
I`m thinking about remodeling my bathroom and thanks to all your selfies I`m getting some great ideas!!.....
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
People at airports must not workout much because they are all using these treadmills wrong...
I feel like people who don`t have at least one bottle of expired salad dressing in the fridge, really have their lives together.
They`re having a Jamaican hair-do day tomorrow at work. I`m dreading it.
After socializing and being nice to people all day it`s nice to sit down, drink by myself, and be an a$$hole on the Internet.