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" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
The human soul weights 1.2 lbs. I know this because I weighed myself before and after I got to work.
I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
If your job title is head receiver, you know you`re doing something right.
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
You health nuts are gonna feel real stupid when you`re laying in the hospital dying of nothing.
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
Is it considered rude to ask your boss if it hurt when the house fell on her in The Wizard of Oz?
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!
"Has anybody ever seen a chicken fly? No? Good, there`s nothing wrong with ya"
I’m not implying you’re stupid. I’m saying it outright. Here, I wrote it in crayon to help you understand.
"Wow! That butterfly`s gonna be HUGE!" - First person to find a mummy
Note to Self: These Note to Selves don’t work.