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There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don`t make a right. Tomorrow I`m going to try three.
You, my friend, deserve a high-five... that’s four more fingers than I normally give.
Don`t you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really didn`t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
How come "you`re a peach" is a complement but "you`re bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
Old video games couldn`t be won. They just got harder and harder until you died. Just like real life.
The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil.
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
??q? uo p??oq??? ? ?nq i ??i? ?s?? ??? si si??
Porn Spoiler.......The plumber doesn`t fix the leak in the kitchen sink...
If a gay guy doesn`t write a book called "Fifty Shades of Haaaaaayyy" I`ll be disappointed.
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.
Leave a comment if you`ve started drinking. Hit the `Like` button if you`re already sh!tfaced. *Cheers*