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Remember the days when water was free and you had to pay for porn?
¦It’s time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
You can be like "This is a slippery slope" or you can be like "Weeeeeeee!"
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
If weed is ever legalized, I can`t wait to see the commercials...
What is the difference between a Snow-man & a Snow-lady? Snowballs!
Pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer.....me trying not to drop a child
I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink at night.
I’m glad we can’t smell each other through the internet.
You laugh because you think it’s a joke. I laugh because you think I’m joking.
I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out.
I dig, she digs, he digs, they dig, we dig. its not a good poem but its really deep.
I`m probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.
It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment.