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can´t seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What`s on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...
On Mondays I like to reply to all my bosses emails with `unsubscribe`
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
My wife said to go out and buy something that makes her look hot & sexy for Valentine`s Day! So I got drunk.
Just once I want to see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
I wonder if monsters ever get scared that we might be hiding under their bed?
Cleaning a house while toddlers are in it is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.
Buy a "World`s Greatest Boss" mug and drink out of it in front of your boss.