Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
the kids next door challenged me to a water fight. I`m just updating my status while the kettle boils
Dear Santa, I would like a thin body and a fat bank account. Donβt mix it up this year!
As the day goes on, coworkers start appearing more flammable.
Hurricanes, Fires,Tiger running loose ... Whoever is playing Jumanji needs to wrap it up
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
All my life I thought air was free⦠and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.
Dishes are like boyfriends. My roommate should really stop doing mine
I really don`t get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she`s at least 18.
The real trouble with reality is that there`s no background music.
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
Wondering if my heart is healthy enough for sex ... volunteers needed.