Daily Silly Status

I`ve been starting my diet tomorrow for the last 20 years.

I wouldn’t have to manage my anger, if people could learn to manage their stupidity.

Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.

I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"

Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................

So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.

Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.

When a pizza guy comes to my door, I like to answer wearing the same uniform as him and holding a pizza.....and then insist that he called me

The older I get the more use I have for the phrase "bite me."

Just bent over to pick up a beer that rolled out of the fridge and realized yoga is exhausting

This beer sure tastes like I`m on vacation next week!

When I hear someone say they hear voices in their head, I wonder if they’re just thinking for the first time.

This woman just flipped me off and I couldn`t agree more.

Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.

I really like what you`ve done with your crazy.