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Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
Wife is out of town until tomorrow night. Anyone wanna come sit on the other end of the sofa and ignore me?
The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
Tonight`s good mood is sponsored by ... Beer!!
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
It would take a pretty stupid robot to replace me.
you know why maths is unhappy? because it got so many problems.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
Finding friends with the same mental disorder as you ... Priceless
When I`m really bored at work I like to write "I`m watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.
No one looks more depressed than a grown man walking away from the microwave with a Lean Cuisine meal in his hands.
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
If I`m not in bed by 11PM, then I go home.
Any machine is a smoke machine if you just use it wrong enough!
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.