Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
What does Miley Cyrus have for dinner on Christmas? Twerky :`)
It’s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
I typed bitch into my GPS and guess what? I`m in your drive way. Vroom, vroom mother f*%ker.
Who the hell invented Bull Riding? "Hey, I`m gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me!!!"
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
I try not to laugh at my own jokes… but we all know I’m Hilarious.
Do you realize that a woman`s "I`ll be ready in five minutes." and a guy`s " I`ll be home in five minutes." are exactly the same?
boss- "You cant drink while your at work!" .. me- "Oh dont worry im not working!!"
I am 5 for 5 on popping my trunk instead of unlocking the fuel door at the gas station.
If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
Don`t call me names, you don`t know enough words to describe me
Eww!!! Beer does NOT taste good on Cocoa Puffs! ..I`m switching back to my Fruit Loops! ;)