Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s getting warm out. I can finally get back to smacking people and blaming it on mosquitos!
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from. FML
Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone.
I’m at the doctor’s office & they don’t know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I’ll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless.
Sorry to all my friends and family members who didn`t know I was a freak until they saw my likes and shares on Facebook.
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn’t have couches at this Best Buy
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
I don`t get it. If violets are blue, why do we call them violets?
So the state trooper said "I`ve been following you with my lights flashing for three miles. Why didn`t you pull over?" and I said "Well, a few years ago my wife ran away with a state trooper and I was worried that you were trying to return her."
A colon is used to indicate a list of elements to the sentence preceding it. A semicolon is for making winky faces.
I don`t really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids` history textbooks.
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
pharmacy was out of my BP meds...so i bought a baseball bat instead..that works much faster
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
ATM`s need to have breathalyzers.