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I`m not impatient. You`re just slow.
Live today like it`s your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn`t.
Sometimes I wanna copy someone´s status word for word and see if they notice.
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
Marijuana is a type of flower, therefore I am a florist not a drug dealer :p
Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
Did you know, the designated driver is usually the guy having the most luck with the ladies.
CANT TOUCH THIS!! Na na na na.
FYI, Target does not give prizes, no matter how many bullseyes you hit in the store with a paintball gun
If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.
Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.
Picking your nose doesn`t make you a bad person. .... but what you do with the booger will define you.
I already know that I`m going to hell ... At this point it`s really go big or go home.