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I`m not allowed to have any energy drinks until all the cat`s hair grows back.
word of the day: nincomtard
Trying to learn Mandarin Chinese but the amount of money I`m spending on fortune cookies is getting ridiculous.
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
I have Beer.
Just once, I`d like to see an honest Facebook status, like "happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!"
I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button
I`m flattered that you took time out from your lack of a life to judge mine.
With my background and genetics, you guys should be happy I am half as normal as I am.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.
The fact that this peanut butter jar states that it "Contains Peanuts" makes me extremely nervous for the human race.
Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.
I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.
I just wanna find a girl who loves me for my money. That way I wouldn`t feel bad for loving her for her body.
Wow comma I just realized if I tap the microphone on my keyboard I don`t have to type out my statuses anymore exclamation point