Daily Silly Status

Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..

My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what`s for dinner.

I can`t even tell what this thing in my fridge use to be.

I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.

Unless your kid`s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.

I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment

I want rich people problems. Like where to land my private jet.

This recliner and I go way back.

"We attack at dawn!" - Hangovers

mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that

Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..

Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those medications.

I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.

I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night…he hypnotized 7 guys…then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled F*CK ME ... what happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life

If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?