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I walked a girl home last night, and things got a little awkward at one point when she turned around and found out I was walking her home.
I feel like water solves all problems. Wanna lose weight? drink water .. clear face ? Drink water.. Tired of your better half? Drown them
It`s a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge.
there`s only 2 things in life you have control in changing that is your attitude and a kids diaper.. which at times both can be the equivalent of the other..
If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.
In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I`m keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
Pretty sure I look forward to my boss` vacation`s more than he does.
It`s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
"The more the merrier": My excuse for extra food.
This beer is making me awesome !! ;)
"You should`ve come with us!" well, inviting me would`ve helped..
I want to get a welcome mat for my front door that just says "Text Me"
Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat
Honk if you wanna see the finger
It`s not "you`re" or "your". It`s mine. It`s all mine, everything is mine!