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Guy on plane : So, where are you going to? Me : I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.
Never trust a person with only one Facebook photo of themselves.
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers.
My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he`s attempting to get his hoodie back. He`s in for one hell of a life lesson.
L`oréal`s mascara makes your lashes 60% longer? Wow! They should make condoms.
Due To ObamaCare and the poor economy Holiday Cheer this year will be distributed in Shot Glasses...
If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
All fortune cookies should just read, "You will have diarrhea for the next 24 hours.
Between the coffee and the cocaine, it looks like the mission of Colombia is to wake up the world.
You know it’s a really good bar when there’s a couple outside breaking up.
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....
Here`s a crazy trick to avoid looking fat in pictures: Lose weight.
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.