Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse"
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
The worlds gonna end in 5 days & I don`t know what I`m gonna wear.
I put ALL my eggs in one basket at the grocery store.... Today..!!
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their keys.
My bank account is more like a countdown to my homelessness
I simply haven’t seen enough solid evidence that suggests not drinking is better than drinking.
Imagine taking your girlfriend to your friends house for the 1st time, and her phone automatically connects to his password protected wifi.
Somehow, hitting the "end call" button on the cell phone just doesn`t feel nearly as good as the old days when you could slam the phone down on somebody.
Even if your not successful in life , You are guaranteed to get two certificates
im so hungry, im farting fresh air
I go from "Hard to get" to "Hard to get rid of" in 6 beers flat.
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
I am sorry I wasn`t being completely honest when I said I was normal.