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Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
Beer and a 44 magnum with an everclear shot makes everything good like Nintendo
I had a really funny joke, but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime.
FB friends, no one gives a ratsass what concerts you went to...
If you were a Pokemon, I`d choose you.
It takes balls to be a man.
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
When I become famous I`m not going to tell anyone.
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid...
Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
OMG!!!!! I almost went to the toilet without my phone!
When I was younger my dad showed me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.
The problem with drinking with people from work is they`re the ones I bitch about when I`m drunk.