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Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
As a kid, i was afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I am terrified of the electrical bill.
If you don`t know where you are going, any road will get you there.
I don`t think my blind date was blind, she read the menu and caught the basketball I threw at her
If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
Its not my fault if I blame everyone for my mistakes...right?
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
Never believe a person who claims is telling the truth while holding a pack of beers in both their hands
I bet no one in Africa is allergic to gluten.
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push it. Threading a needle isn`t easy.
Dear Carly Simon, Yes I am so vain that I do think that song is about me.
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
You know it`s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
Waved to my ex today, next time I might use all my fingers