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What a terrible day. I`m going to drive through puddles & splash pedestrians to make myself feel better,
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
I eat cake every day because I know somewhere out there, it`s someone`s birthday and I need to show respect.
You know what’s huge in Japan? ..Sumo wrestlers. ;)
Well...today is the day. Just gotta build up the nerve to tell my dog she is adopted.
exactly how long is a cotton picking minute.
How big does a cupcake have to be before it`s just a cake?
You can`t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn`t work that way...your already hard to want
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us.
I`d say that most of my mistakes can be traced back to when I decided to get out of bed. ... just sayin! ;)
A woman’s anger is like a check engine light; there’s no pleasant way to determine what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
I’ve found that I can usually judge how hot a woman is by how many times my girlfriend calls her a whore.
When you`re a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you!" As an adult, not so much.