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Oh you better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout I`m telling you why. Nobody gives a f*ck.
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Everyone has a right to their own opinion, no matter how wrong they are. And that`s why we have a problem.
Meal prepping is basically eating a week`s worth of leftovers from a meal that never happened.
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
If I look tired at the end of the day, it`s because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy.
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
I spend 800% of my life exaggerating.
If you`re not employed by the Secret Service, there is absolutely no reason to have a Bluetooth on your ear.
Is it bad when I´m talking to myself and I´m not even listening?
Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
Men are usually too focused on the cleavage in the shirt to notice the crazy in the eyes.
A nice kid in the park informed me smoking was bad for you. So I popped his balloon with my cigarette and told him so was talking to strangers.
The real plot hole in Cinderella was that if everything disappeared at midnight why did the shoe stay?