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And then her mood ring just...exploded
My friend named her female dog Karma... Karmas a bitch.
It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
Accidentally took a women`s multi vitamin & I`ve been trying to get dressed for the past 3 hours, but everything is making me look fat.
Sometimes I mop the carpet just so my wife doesn`t ask me to help with stuff.
Exercise makes you look better naked. Alcohol does the same, you pick..
Unless your kids fundraiser is selling whisley, I`m not really interested
I decided I really need to read more. I watch way to much TV ... So I turned on the subtitles.
Life`s most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water.
I wish I could afford to have a drinking problem.
I`ve officially met everyone`s mother yesterday via Facebook so I`m pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
I hope everyone takes my advice and never takes my advice.
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
I wish all videos of people twerking ended with them catching on fire.
If couples who are in love are called `love birds.` Then couples who always argue should be called `angry birds.`