Daily Silly Status

Welcome to Alzheimer`s Club. I see a lot of new faces today.

There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are suppose to be doing something else.

Now that I`ve maxed out my 401k for the year, I`ll get a tattoo, said no one ever.

Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves

FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END

Zombies and I have a lot in common; we both walk around aimlessly looking for something to eat.

Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.

You call it free samples, I call it a free all you can eat buffet.

Would people still go to the gym if Instagram didn`t exist?

I`m not saying your cat doesn`t care about you, I`m saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well.

We`re all just nudists in disguise...

That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.

It`s the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!

Not everyone understands my laundry method. It`s simple. If it`s clean, it`s on the floor. If it`s dirty, it`s on the floor over there.