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I got on-line to check the weather...That was 12 years ago.
If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it`s technically a cat
Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.
Writing "Omg you guys are still friends after what she said about you???" on every group photo of girls I see on Instagram
Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
My favorite beer is an open one.
Pro Tip: If you are under the age of 35, don`t get married. If you are over 35, don`t get married. If you are 35, don`t get married.
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
I just realized that Mr. Rogers had the first man-cave.
You`re not unlucky. Bad things happen to you because you`re a dumba$$.
I want to meet the guy at Hewlett Packard who decides how many minutes of strange noises their printers make before printing 1 page.
Opposites attract, that`s the trouble with being awesome
"Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people.
Iām over the 30-day ab challenge ... Is there a 30-day nap challenge I can take on?
I play hard to get along with.