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Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
363 shopping days `til Christmas and some people already have their lights up.
Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement
Do crabs think we walk sideways?
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
I always walk through my office with a stern look on my face and a toilet plunger to avoid conversations.
Today`s society is a good example of what happens when you let the clowns run the circus.
I can`t believe we made a movie that is essentially giving the apes a blueprint on how to take over the Earth.
I`m available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts.
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially since his name is Mike.
Facebook is like my fridge… I know there is nothing there but I check it every 10 minutes anyways.
You don`t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.