Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Unlike milk, it is acceptable to cry over spilled beer.
There’s no question about it, the second half of the tank of gas goes twice as fast as the first!
When I see people drinking at 11 am on a Friday I`m like, where do you work and are they hiring?
I enjoy planting sex toys at yard sales in nice neighborhoods, then sit back to watch the magic unfold.
It’s strange to think that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals desperately trying to get laid.
Put on my workout clothes before going to the donut store just to give the impression I earned this.
I thought I`d try yoga to make myself more flexible, but I`m still incredibly stubborn.
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.
Mister Rogers didn`t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
If they made a movie of my life, it would just be a lot of scenes where I`m looking for something to wipe my hands on.
Going to Target. See you in about two hundred bucks...
I wonder if I could get a job as a babysitter if I referenced my Facebook group admin experience.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run but, I was still sweating by the end.