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They say when life gives you lemons….but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?
Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?
Why do people ask “What the hell were you thinking?” Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
The problem with the world is intelligent people are full of doubts, while stupid people are full of confidence.
When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn`t doing the same thing.
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I`m not a good liar.
Don`t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I`ve changed since then.
When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.
People who have more than 10 items in the express line… We see you and we are judging you.
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
Marriage: where all the excitement, laughter and sex is gone but she’s still there.
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
"Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt? - You`re wondering now!!!"