Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Those of you who say “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” don’t really get how the whole “dead” thing works, do you?
Maybe vodka is addicted to me
Don`t you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really didn`t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
Wow! Sit-Downs are way easier than Sit-Ups!
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
I enjoy long walks away from responsibility.
A pretty important part of being a dad is waiting in the car.
I`m back in the HR office today. In my defense my coworker very plainly said "stick a fork in me, I`m done"
Christmas time always make me blue :-(( and then red, then green, then oh wow.. presents...
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
We’ve solved so many world problems, and yet chocolate still has calories.
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
I have some serious self-esteem issues. The last time I posted a selfie I first cropped myself out of it.
Just when I think I`m over my insomnia the car behind me honks.