Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve done a lot of things over the years ... But acting normal has never been one of them.
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats.
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it`s like excuse me, I`m working here.
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .
I`m going crazy! Get in, you`re riding shotgun!
What are the words I`m looking for? Oh yeah...Eat sh!t and die.
Drink coffee! ... Do stupid things faster with more energy.
Based on my reaction to toast popping out of a toaster, Iād like to recommend you never throw me a surprise party.