Daily Silly Status

I got in an elevator with a lady with big breasts. She said could you press one for me please. I did and that was the last thing I remember

The brain is like the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.

Next time you are sad remember you can make a cheeseburger with donuts as the bun. Still sad? Add Sprinkles

I feel so stupid for cashing in my retirement account early. But then I always feel stupid using the Coinstar machine.

Take mentos and freeze into ice cubes. Put the ice cubes in your friend’s drink. After five minutes their drink will randomly explode.

The Never Ending Story should`ve been a movie about a phone call from my Mother

I don`t know if I should tip the bathroom attendant, or charge for letting him watch...

So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.

Guy test! find the nearest guy by you and repeat to him the following slowly: Door knob, Titanic, Gluestick, Kiwi, Opra Winfey, Shovel, Boobs, Remote, Battery, Furby, Glowstick, Beer, & Xbox. NOW ask him what he remembers before "Boobs"

I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.

A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn`t eat.

To Do: Figure out how to get paid to travel the world and eat.

Masturbating in front of your partner in the hope that she’ll join does not always work. And people on the bus stare at you.

If you cut your child`s sandwich into squares instead of triangles, you suck at parenting...

If you think husbands aren`t good listeners, whisper "Come here, I`m naked" from anywhere in the house and see what happens.