Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
This complimentary lemonade at the doctor`s office tastes funny.
If you workout and don`t post a status about it on Facebook, do you still lose weight?
Pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer.....me trying not to drop a child
I just stepped on a cornfkake does that make me a cereal killer ?
These people keep looking at me like I`m the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
Just because someone`s richer or more famous or talented doesn`t mean they`re happy. It just means they`re happier than YOU.
Iām thinking of leaving my body to science. Even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
I haven`t crunched all the numbers, but early calculations show that a large percentage of people don`t care what you think.
So if a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should we trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
I only get religious when scratching off lottery tickets.
Then there was the ex-cop who started his own landscaping business. He called it Lawn Order.
I`d like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought: "Those ba$tards are hiding something delicious in there I know it."