Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
Quiet people have the loudest minds.
It`s cute how my wife thinks I can read her mind when I can`t even dress the kids properly.
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
Any hedge can be a maze if you are drunk enough.
Why do blurry people always ask me if I’m drunk?
I hate Russian nesting dolls. They`re so full of themselves
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re being watched? Because if it’s bothering you, I’ll stop.
Heard Justin Bieber got arrested for drag racing. Sure it`s dangerous, but surely it isn`t against the law to run in high heels...
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. Made of steel. Twice. From Hulk. On adrenaline rush.
Yes, I streaked once on a dare ... all the rest of the times though were just for fun
I was born at a very early age.
I put on real clothes today. What more do you want from me?
Sure, I`ll show up at your Halloween Party... I`ll be coming as the invisible man....
I don`t like morning people ... Or mornings ... Or people.