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How to win an argument. 1. Have a vagina. 2. That’s it. 3. You win. 4. Congratulations.
Does lying face down on this carpet make me look unsociable?
Ever been completely out of toilet paper that you send your kid next door to get some? Me neither, I just like to embarrass my kid.
I`m starting to think that life isn`t worth living anymore and... Oh wait, there`s the bartender now. Nevermind.
In relationships, it’s important to pay attention to the person’s likes and dislikes. My parole officer, for example, hates to be tickled.
Not to brag, but I don`t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
A computer losing its internet access is the equivalent of a car running out of gas, both become useless.
Facebook taught me to mind everyone else`s business.
"I believe I can fry" - R Kelly filling out McDonald`s application
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
Please, if I ever offend you, it’s because I meant to.
You think your wife is crazy now? Try divorcing her
My neighbors wifi isn`t working. Do you think they are aware and are trying to fix it, or should I go let them know?
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now