Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey, somebody get ready to wake up the guy in Green Day.
Some people are more confused then a chameleon in a packet of Skittles.
My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.
I can tell you nice things but they`ll all be about me.
Can`t reach it. Don`t need it.
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
You know you`re getting old when bending over is a one-way trip.
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
The songs I like always come on when Iām supposed to be getting out of my car.
I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed.
I just googled "Is there really cowbell in the actual song Don`t Fear the Reaper?" and my first response was, "Go outside and do something."
Really disappointed to find out after laser eye surgery I am unable to burn down buildings
facebooked yo mama!!!
The ultimate home security system is just having crappy stuff.
Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you`ve done with the place.