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Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
These ramen noodles taste like payday is next Friday.
I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
I love Alfredo sauce ... Unless you`re a dude named Alfredo.
"May the 4th" be with you!
Drinking: because why not intensify the feelings you`re trying to escape?
The worst about the weekend?? The ending part.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
Yet another advantage of being single. All I bring to Thanksgiving is empty Tupperware...
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
A young man gets sent to jail,and gets put into a jail cell with a convict the size of the Incredible Hulk. After lights out, he hears a whisper from the top bunk."Let`s play Mommy and Daddy. Who do you wanna be?" Thinking quick, the man says "daddy." "Then come up here and suck Mommy`s d!ck."
Do homeless people get Knock Knock Jokes?
"I want to be cuddled, but I want to be alone. Being crazy is hard." - WOMEN
I`m sure the guy standing at the urinal next to me, regrets wearing those flip flops today.