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The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music
Is it wrong to put leftover Halloween candy in their Easter baskets?
The awkward moment when you look both ways down a one way street.
I yawn all day at work & school. But when it comes to at night, I’m not tired at all.
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
My favorite beer is the next one.
Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
If its the thought that counts, then I`ve banged so many hot chicks.
How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy that just wanted to check out a girl’s butt.
Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.
Hey you! Yea you ... Don`t just pass by my status and not say hi.
You find it offensive? ... I find it funny ... That`s why I`m happier than you.